How about some warnings instead of praise?
A few quick reviews...
Mariah Carey's movie GLITTER:
It's like someone puking into your mouth.
UNBREAKABLE:
Interesting first act. Oh, wait, that was the whole movie?
SIGNS:
Stupidest movie ever. There are worse, but not stupider. Aliens harmed by water come to a water planet AND ONE GETS LOCKED IN A CUPBOARD?!?!
...more later, getting too worked up...